Issue #28 - Sports are not style.

Issue # 28 - Sports are not style.

We've all seen him. We all know him. He's the guy that wears a sports jersey for no athletic reason at all, and he's gotta go. Far too often men resort to the sports jersey as an outfit and it's just plain ridiculous. Did you run out of actual shirts? Is it laundry day? Do you, for some reason need to wear breatheable mesh clothing to wisk away your moisture on a daily basis? Or do you just like wearing a piece of clothing with someone elses' last name on it? Whatever your excuse for donning 2 massive numbers on your chest or back, you need to seriously reconsider this style choice. Now before the sports addicts get all crazy on me, please let me explain.


There are very few times where this garb is acceptable. These are outlined below:


IF YOU'RE GOING TO THE GAME - If you are actually ATTENDING the game in which your jersey applies, then more power to you. I am not much of a sports guy, but I know that team spirit is very important, and if you're that much into your team, then go for it big guy. You will most likely be surrounded by like-minded sporties, wearing like-minded jerseys so just go for it. The face paint and crazy hats can be cut back a little bit though.


IF YOU ARE WATCHING AT HOME - This one took me a while to add, but I decided to include it since not everyone can afford to go see their team play. So, if you are watching the game at home, or at a buddy's house, or anywhere NOT in public then go nuts. Your team won't see it, but if you think it makes a difference then do it!


This concludes the times and places it is ok to wear your jersey. Why so few you ask? Because these are JERSEYS, not clothes. No one will mistake you for an actual player of the team you are wearing, because even the athletes wear actual clothing in public. Some of you might say it's in tribute to your favourite player, much like wearing a band t shirt. This, although a reasonable excuse still is not acceptable. Why? Because band t shirts aren't made of reflective lightweight mesh and do not look like you're wearing a tent with giant numbers on it. Yes, each jersey is different, but they are all bad. Basketball jerseys have no sleeves, and well we've already been over how wrong that is. Wearing one over a t shirt doesn't help the problem since you will just resemble a rapper from the late 90s, and they are cut long, so you will always look like a little boy in daddy's clothing.


Hockey jerseys are designed to fit over padding, so unless you're wearing full hockey gear to the mall, don't put this on. You look ridiculous. You don't need to wear a leaf on your chest so people know you like Toronto. It's not nearly as important to them as it is to you. Football jerseys, although better than the other two, are still unacceptable.


Bottom line gents, jerseys are not stylish. They don't look as good as you think they do, and in the end no one really notices what name is on your back, nor do they really care. Want to show your colours? Every team has a ton of merchandise you can get that is far better suited to everyday wear. Do I suggest it? No. But if you are determined to wear your celtic pride, then opt for a more fitting t shirt.


On a side note, since this topic isn't enough for a full issue, I will touch upon other sports related items that are just not acceptable: The beer opener hat, the sports team beer coozie/holder, and the puffy sports starter coat.


Until next time gents,
S.G.