Issue #47 - The Secret

Issue #47 - The Secret

Good day gents! Today's issue is about something i feel needs to be brought to light again, but this time a little more in depth. Today's issue is on how to instantly be more attractive. Easily, and for free. It's so simple, you would think more people would understand it, but in reality there are so many people that just don't realize how easy it really is. Forgive me ahead of time, this issue will seem a little bit introspective, but really i think it's a very important point that a man needs to understand and master if he truly will understand what style is all about.

The secret, gentlemen, is Confidence. That's it. It's the root of all style, and all attraction. It's the single most important tool you can possess, and is more powerful than we fully realize. Women instantly recognize it, and you will notice how quickly you feel completely different, and embrace it.

So where do we start? Well i can't very well ask you to feel instantly confident if you don't have it already in you. That wouldn't be fair. Each man is different, and each man has different factors in his life which contribute to his confidence, or subtract from it. I'm not a psychologist, and I am not about to get into all the tiny things you can do to create a confident self. SO, instead i have decided to give you some very easy and effective techniques to depict confidence...to wear a mask, if you will. Hopefully if you take my words to heart, and apply these tools, you will actually build real confidence within you, and be able to reach a level of style you never knew you could find. So what's first?

EYE CONTACT - This is massive, and is the number-one-first-and-foremost important aspect to confidence. Eye contact not only establishes contact, but the eyes are also very intimate. Think about it: you meet an attractive woman at the bar, and after just enough liquid courage, you walk over to say hello...what do you think is more attractive to her? Looking around the bar and at your shoes, or looking her dead in the eye and saying hello? Eye contact establishes confidence right out of the gate, and with enough practice, you can deliver messages with your eyes that she doesn't even know she's receiving. This is huge guys, and if you're too shy to even maintain eye contact for 5 seconds, then you're beyond my help sir. This is the first skill to learn. It doesn't matter if you're completely void of confidence, suck it up, look her in the eyes, and you have your foot in the door.

KNOW YOURSELF - What makes you happy? what 'pumps you up'? what makes you feel on top of the world? Think about that. Walk with that thought in your brain. Carry yourself as if you're untouchable. It may sound stupid, but it does wonders not only for your own confidence, but how you are perceived by everyone around you.

BODY LANGUAGE - This goes hand in hand with the above tactic. Once you have found that 'zone' that makes you happy and feel invincible, focus on your body language. Square your shoulders, keep your chin up (but not in the air like you're a snob or trying to hide a bald spot). Walk confidently, shake hands with conviction. These are all small details that all add up to, or at least the perception of, confidence. Think of it as saving your money for something you really want; even though you may only be placing in a couple dollars at a time, every little bit helps. Combine your body language with sustained eye contact, and you sir, are on the road to success.

JUST BE YOURSELF - Forget the bullshit you see on tv. Ignore the chick flicks and the stuff you've read in your last girlfriend's cosmo. Ignore all the stuff you think you should say or do, and just be yourself. And for the love of all the women in the world, do NOT, under any circumstances use a lame pickup line. It's not hard guys, JUST BE YOU. Women are not some sort of mythical goddesses that you need to prove yourself to in order to receive some magical passport to a wonderful land full of unicorns and forbidden fruit. They're humans like you are. They feel nervous, they are shy, they are all the things that you are (except maybe not as hairy or gassy), so remember that it's most likely they are feeling all the same stuff you are. Relax.

ADMIT FAULTS - This is going to be a hard one for a lot of guys to do, but it works. it shows that you are secure with yourself (even if you're not), and makes you much less intimidating, and defuses the whole situation. What i mean is, if you stutter, or are at a loss of words, or are feeling overwhelmingly nervous, then do something unheard of: Admit it. Saying something as simple as "wow, sorry i am nervous" has more power than you even realize. It immediately makes the situation more comfortable. The fact that you can admit your nervousness can allow her to either admit her own, or find it very cute that you admitted yours, or both. So swallow your pride, since the secure and open man is much more attractive to women than the close off tough guy. And if she prefers the closed off tough guy, then you can walk away, since she has some growing up to do.

Guys, that's about it. I can't tell you how to BE confident in yourself, but with these tips, hopefully you will get a good enough response to boost your confidence to where these all become second nature to you.  I've said it many times, but i will say it again, STYLE is not all about the clothes you wear. It's about YOU, and how you carry yourself in every way. You can wear everything the magazines tell you to, but if you're not confident in yourself, then you're just wearing clothes.

Until next time gents, stay classy
SG