Thursday, November 3, 2011

Issue # 48 - Underneath it all

Issue # 48 - Underneath it all

Hello gents, and a happy November to you all. I was originally going to write an issue on shaving tips and products in honour of Movember, but I stumbled onto a topic that I found to be much more important, and much more concerning than how to avoid razor burn, or why that chin-strap facial hair is a bad idea. And since it was a direct request from a female reader, I hope you pay some very close attention guys. (Note: The chin-stap facial hair is a very bad idea).Why is it important that you read this issue? Because it touches upon a topic that not only have I never covered, but a topic that the vast majority of men simply don't realize is a severe issue for women: Your Underwear. 

We all have them; Those ratty, worn in, faded, baggy, skid marked, ultra comfortable underwear, with at least one hole in it (probably near the waist i right?). Whether your a brief guy, a boxer guy, or somewhere in between, chances are you've never looked at your underoos as anything but a layer between your junk and your zipper. Neither cut nor colour nor style has ever mattered much to you, outside of having a basic preference for comfort reasons. You find the pack with the most pairs for the lowest price, grab it and forget about it, despite the fact that they look like they were made from old gym shirts in grey, navy blue and off white. After all, you're a MAN, right? Why should you spend more than 4 seconds looking at underwear?


Think about it. Your girlfriend, your ex girlfriends, the girl you're sleeping with, your friend, ANY woman. They all have a ridiculous amount of under garments, right? They will spend countless hours and dollars completing their arsenal of bras and panties, all with specific uses in mind. Their collection ranges from sexy underwear to cute underwear, to matching bras and panties, to comfy/period underwear (if you got grossed out or turned off by that, please grow up), to a collection of panties for specific outfits, because comfy or not, they'll be damned if you see panty lines through their pencil skirts...they take the time and the effort to do these things guys, and you can be damn sure that 9 times out of 10, if they have even the slightest thought that you might be seeing them out of their clothes, they'll be sure to be wearing something for the occasion. Why? Because they want to look good for you, and want to feel good about themselves.

So why do you not do the same? Think about it. You're in the heat of the moment, and as her pants come off, you see a sexy little number that looks so good you almost want to leave them on her. We've all been there. Now put yourself in her your pants come off, she sees... two holes under the elastic waist of your boring grey cotton hanes jockeys that have been through so much use they've lost their once form-fitting appeal and now hang lifeless like tiny little ugly board shorts. Sexy.

Wake up guys. I know as men we're not raised with the ideal that we should have sexy or attractive underwear. It's not part of our wiring. But I highly suggest you change that. This not only falls into the category of style, but also into the category of being a gentleman. Why should she have to put in all the work of trying to be sexy for you, when you don't even think twice about it? Think about how disappointed you would be if you got her back to your place, pulled off her outfit that was driving you crazy all night, only to reveal torn, ratty and just plain ugly panties. Now imagine how she feels. Am I making sense here gents?

Now I am not saying go buy a bunch of banana hammocks or stripper underwear, because those are equally as horrifying to her. But what I am saying is put a little more effort, a little more thought, and a little more coin into your drawers. I'll admit that I myself was oblivious to this issue until about a year ago. I purchased what I thought to be a style I usually wore, and I was mistaken. They were in fact, completely different than the Jockey shorts I was intending, and instead were snug fitting mini shorts, falling somewhere between the length of briefs and the length of jockeys. At first, I was uncomfortable with the idea of them, but upon wearing them I quickly changed my mind. They were snug, comfortable and I barely noticed they were there. But more interestingly, I felt more confident with them on...and if you know anything about this blog, it's that confidence is key. I went back and bought 3 more packs.

Listen guys. She finds it sexy when you have nice underwear on. So go get some. It's really simple, and it makes her happy, which will in turn make YOU happy. You follow? It's a no brainer. If you don't want to get rid of your old ones, then don't. But at least only wear them around the house, and instead don a great new look for when you're with her. She'll notice. And you just might notice how you feel when they're on as well.

I'm almost done here today gents, but I will send a few tips your way before I leave. If you're not sure where to start your search for new skivvies, I suggest H&M if you have one near you. They have the underwear I was referring to. They come in packs of 3 for only $14.95, and even better, they come in colours and designs that are as manly for you as they are sexy for her. A personal favourite of mine is black with white pin stripes, and the solid black with white waist band. Simple and classy for you, sexy for her. For my second tip, I'm going to crush the brown elephant in the room and go there: There is absolutely nothing attractive about skid marks (although we've ALL been there). If you're a man who is prone to this phenomenon, I have a few words of wisdom. First, wipe better. I know you're in a hurry to get back to whatever video game you're obsessed with right now, but if you can spend 25 minutes reading on the toilet, then you can spend 30 extra seconds to make sure you're not going to leave a trail in your knickers. As a secondary line of defense, opt for the black underwear when you can. This way, if you just couldn't wait to get back to your spike tv, then at least you have some decent camouflage to hide it.

Until next time gents,

PS - You're welcome ladies. 

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