Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Issue #51 - Gift Guide for your lady friend

Issue #51 - Gift Guide for your lady friend

Hello gents! It's the beginning of December, and that means 2 things: First, you can finally remove your moustache, and second, the Christmas season has officially begun, so that means you have some gifts to think of for the woman in your life...both of these things are much to the delight of women everywhere. You may be thinking you don't need a gift guide, or that the items on this list aren't for your woman. You're wrong. This issue is not about specific items to get her, but rather a certain combination of categories you're going to want to cover. These tips will help send you in the right direction regardless of if she's a new girlfriend, a long time wife, or even just a near and dear friend. But most importantly, it will hopefully help you avoid getting lost in big box store chaos, and let you actually enjoy the experience of gift giving.

First and foremost gents, there is one important fact you need to read, understand, and utilize: LISTEN. I don't mean listen to her telling you what she wants, I mean listen to her the entire year. Pay attention to things she says she likes, loves, wishes she could have, needs, etc. The gifts you give her shouldn't be just stuff you think of a week before the 25th. As a gentleman, you have the duty of hearing, logging, and recalling all the things she wants all year round. Whether it be those boots she always puts on the back burner, that spa she's dying to try, or anything in between. Oh, and if that weren't enough of a job, you also have to listen to the stuff she doesn't say, and pay attention to how she looks at certain items. Fear not though, this guide will help you cover all the bases, make her super happy, and make you look like a Christmas hero, all without breaking a sweat, or breaking the bank.

What you need to know about this guide is that if you give her at least one gift from each of the below categories, then you've officially covered every aspect of awesome gift giving. You'll save money, time and stress, and that mistletoe might see some action too.


There will undoubtedly be a few items she voices that she wants. If she says she wants nothing, she's lying. Find out what these are, and do what you can in order to get them. Obviously this will vary depending on the item, the budget, etc. Bottom line, if she says she wants it, then it must be somewhat of a big deal since she's actually telling you. So get it. But don't get caught up in getting everything she says she wants, there's much more to give.


You hopefully know things about her. If you don't, then it's either far too early to get any sort of significant gift, or your relationship just plain sucks. That being said, I would assume you can see something in a store or online and realize that it's something she would totally dig, and doesn't even know it. These are great gifts because it shows her that you actually have insight into her, and aren't just a list reading robot. These gifts will vary widely depending on your lady, so keep your eyes and ears open.


Sitcoms have basically made men out to be the worst gift givers on the planet, resorting to horrible taste and household items. Tim Allen in Home improvement was especially bad, getting his wife a vacuum cleaner. He was also a huge contributor to why men think it's ok to wear white running shoes with jeans and a dress shirt, but that's another story. What these sitcoms have told us is that it's a horrible idea to get your woman something practical, or something she actually needs. While this is indeed true if it's the ONLY gift you get her, it's NOT a bad idea if it's one of several gifts she receives, and shows actual, genuine thought. If she's frequently mentioned that she wants to make her own coffee because her starbucks habit is draining the bank, then a coffee machine or french press might make a good gift. The point is, listen to her needs and if you think something practical would be a good idea, then go for it....just make sure you add an extra gift or 2 from the other categories to make sure you cover your ass.


Guys, any caveman can go to the store, pick a card, and sign their name on it. Do you really want to be a caveman? I would hope not. Give her something genuinely and directly from your heart, hands, and mind. MAKE HER SOMETHING. Whether you make it yourself, or have it made custom for you, it shows a serious attention to wanting a truly unique gift for her, and will trigger her girly instincts. This means even if for some reason she hates it, she'll still love it, because you MADE it for her. This might sound a lot harder than it is, but trust me, it's not. No matter what you're good at, you can figure out something for her. Good at web design? Make her a little webpage that only you and her have access to. Good at cooking? Make her a mind blowing dinner. Not good at anything? Write her a letter instead of buying a card. In fact, do that anyways. It's way better than a card. This has now become mandatory.


We've been trained by television to think that women want flowers, candy and jewelry. Candle-lit dinners and bubble baths. Champagne and strawberries. Guys, this is cheese. It's stereotypical. And it's true. Regardless of how lame and cheesy these things are, there is a small part of every woman that secretly (or not so secretly) loves this shit. So use it, but use it sparingly. A few cheese items can totally work if used properly, so figure out which ones they are, and add it to the mix. A personal suggestion for a perfect cheese gift? The mixed CD. This totally combines the heart, the cheese and the knowledge, and is a perfect nostalgic piece. Depending on the length of your relationship, your choice of songs will obviously differ, but I suggest you select songs that are significant to a time you spent together, remind you of a funny moment or night or songs that remind YOU of her. You can explain to her why you chose the songs as you listen to the cd over a glass of wine (that you supplied of course), and a hand made cd cover wouldn't hurt either.

Well gentlemen, this concludes my gift guide for your lady friend. I truly hope this has helped you on your Christmas journey, and will hopefully help you avoid throwing elbows at a Walmart on Christmas Eve. I'm giving you a head start here, so if you follow my lead, you should have no problem enjoying every drop of the holidays this year, and hopefully your Ms. Claus will be so happy with your thoughtful offerings that you definitely won't have a silent night.


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