Issue #35 - Grooming 101

Issue #35 - Grooming 101


When you were between the ages of 6 and 10 or so, you didn't really care what you looked like. Things that are important now like Styling your hair, wearing matching clothing and bathing just didn't seem to matter next to your recess plans and what cartoons were on after school. Then around 6th grade or so, you began to notice these things, and pay more attention to them, ultimately trying to achieve perfection before high school where the game was upped a notch. This continues through college, and then hopefully through the rest of your days. But sadly that isn't true. There comes a time for many men where they just stop caring about the small details that really matter. Sure, you may still care about what your outfit looks like, or you may still want your hair to me immaculate, but for many of you, the tiny details skip your radar all together. This should not happen, and I am making a movement to stop it. Why does this happen? Are you too busy with life that basic grooming goes out the window? Do you get too comfortable in a relationship that you don't feel the need to do these things? Whatever the reason, forget making excuses and get back on the wagon.


In this issue I will cover a few tiny but very important details that far too many men overlook, in hopes to raise awareness and solve the problem at hand:

The Uni-brow


This is quite possibly the most common, caveman-like, overlooked grooming need that men just don't seem to notice. This is when the space between your eyebrows begins to grow hair, making your two brows look as if they're joined as one. Also known as the "bert", referring to the uni-browed Bert of Sesame Street fame. For some reason, men seem to find it feminine to do any sort of damage control on their eyebrows. The question I ask you men is simply WHY? There is a very large difference between plucking your unibrow, and getting your brows threaded to a perfect arch. There is absolutely nothing girly about making sure you don't look like a creature from the stone age. I recall an interview with David Schwimmer (Ross from friends) in a mid 90s DETAILS magazine where he was asked about his thoughts on the uni-brow. His response was as follows (i am paraphrasing here): "It's not attractive, and women definitely do not find it attractive. Shave it, pluck it, wax it, do anything you have to do to get rid of it, because it's not attractive at all." He hit the nail on the head. It's not attractive. Yet too many men are either too absent minded to notice it, or too proud to do anything about it. Personally, I use a simple disposable razor, that costs next to nothing, and anytime i notice a little bit of growth, i just get rid of it. It's that simple. I also wax my eyebrows every now and then just to keep them neat and tidy. You may think it's feminine, but being manly isn't worth looking like a cave creature. Take care of it boys.

Filthy Nails -


There are few things a man can posess that are more cringe worthy than filthy nails. Too many times, I have seen men with this horrendous paws sitting in a restarant, sinking their mouths into burgers and i want to vomit. What is this? Is this a new trend i missed? Are you in too much of a hurry to watch manswers that you can't scrub your hands and clean your nails? Now, as a disclaimer, i understand that some careers mean your nails will become filthy, and possibly stained. I understand this, and to a certain extent that is permitted. But only if you've done everything possible to clean them. Take a nail clipper, use the little knife portion and clean them! This is repulsive, and I cannot think of a single woman who would find this attractive. Again, the nails are something that men find girly to take care of, and again I laugh at their foolish pride. Manicures are not all about getting pretty colours and patterns on your nails, but also about taking care of them, and keeping them clean and healthy. I am not saying go out and get one, but at least think about how YOU would feel if you saw a woman with claws like that.

Wild Nose Hair -


This is a real stat. 76% of women are turned off by a hairy nose. Now I will admit, I am a man whose facial hair grows very fast, and as a downside, so does my nose hair. Luckily this is a very simple fix. Look in the mirror. If you see any poking out, remove them with tweezers, a nose hair trimmer, or if all else fails, pull them out with your fingers. Painful? yes. Worth it? Heck yes. It's unappealing, unattractive, and there is no reason to let it slide. I used to be one of these guys that overlooked it, because i simply didn't notice it. But trust me, you will notice it when a lady backs away from your nasal tenticles. Nose hair trimmers can be purchased for as little as $7 plus the cost of a couple batteries. Get it?

The pit stain/Sweaty pits -


As a man that sweats more than average in warm situations, I sympathize for men who sweat as much as, or more than I do. But I do not sympathize for the men that don't do anything about it. Here's the deal guys, there are many ways to avoid looking like our moist friend over here. First of all, upgrade to a high powered ANTI-PERSPIRANT, not a deodorant. It doesn't matter if you like the smell or  not, it needs to stop the sweat, not make you smell like a glacier. Second off, wear an undershirt. Not a muscle shirt, something that covers your armpits. Let the undershirt take the beating, NOT the dress shirt. Try to make sure the undershirt is thick enough quality to absorb your sweat, and not let too much through. If this still doesn't help, check out a product called Drysol. If that doesn't work, well surgery is always an option. Just do what you can to avoid this look. the only time this is acceptable is if everyone around you is suffering the same consequence of an overly heated, or poorly air conditioned bar.

The Patchy Beard -


This one is simple. Until you know you can grow full facial hair, don't attempt to grow it. There is a sickening trend out there of men growing pitiful, thin, scraggly facial hair when it simply looks awful. Stop it. Look at Keanu here. He looks like a weed wacker went to town on his face. Not cool, not attractive. And it makes you look dirty and very un tidy. Combine this with any of the above issues, and you sir, have just confirmed your night alone. Keep your stubble short and neat, and you'll have no problem!




That's it gents, These are all tiny things that will take a total of 10 minutes out of your day, but save you a TON of rejection and self esteem issues. So tidy up boys, and you'll be amazed at the difference it makes.


Until next time,
Style Guy